We're Here For You
by TTFN
Summary: Lindsay tells Hawkes about her past


Show: CSI:NY

**WE'RE HERE FOR YOU**3

**Show:** CSI:NY

**Characters:** Lindsay/Hawkes, friendship

**Set:** After Silent Night

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** Not mine nor shall it ever be

**Summary:** Hawkes finds out about Lindsay's past.

Sheldon frowned as he saw Lindsay in the office that was shared by, Stella, Danny, Lindsay and himself, and saw that she was on her cell phone and that what ever the phone call was about it didn't seem to be going well judging by the way Lindsay's shoulders had slumped forward in a defeated manner as she was facing the window looking out over the city. Hawkes wondered if he should go into the office but his worried nature over Lindsay had gotten the better of him. Concerned about his friend and the way that she was acting lately particularly over the way she acted at the crime scene the other day and her taking the car back to the lab like a bat outta hell. Hawkes watched as Lindsay put her cell phone back on her hip and continued to look out the window. Hawkes took in a deep breath just before pushing opening the door thinking back to the conversation that he had just had with Sid where Lindsay had broken down in autopsy and neither Sid or Stella knew why and that it was odd because she kept repeating over and over 'Why'

Hawkes walked into the office under the pretence of reading a file as he walked in "Hey Linds" out of the corner of his eye he saw Lindsay go from a slumped over state to a very rigid straight rod stance.

"Hey Hawkes" Lindsay said in a fake happy tone as she tried to get her emotions back under control after the phone call she just had then turned to face Hawkes.

Hawkes frowned and realised how good an actress Lindsay seemed to be because right now at the moment she was the same old Lindsay that he had met when she first not the one who a minute ago seemed to be under some sort of inner turmoil. Hawkes put the file that he was reading on his desk before turning and facing Lindsay "Are you ok?"

Lindsay gave Sheldon a smile "Yeah I'm fine" Lindsay said hoping that it would convince him because at the moment she couldn't convince herself that she was.

Hawkes shook his head at Lindsay at the way that she just lied to him "No your not, your lying. Not just to me but obviously to yourself as well"

Lindsay just smiled, shocked that she had been seen straight through "I'm fine" Lindsay looked down at her desk as she moved some files around and said quietly to herself hoping that Hawkes wouldn't here her "I'll be fine"

Hawkes shook his head as he caught what Lindsay had just said "Lindsay, you're a great friend and your obviously going through something. And you need to say something or your going to explode" Hawkes took in a deep breath as he walked over to Lindsay who had placed her hands on the desk in front of her to steady herself "And I want to help you if I can"

Lindsay took in a deep breath and shook her head before looking at Hawkes "No. No you can't. Not with this"

Hawkes moved to lean on the desk so he could be face to face with Lindsay "Then what is it, maybe I can and in a way that you haven't thought of yet"

Lindsay shook her head as her emotions started to get the best of her as tears began to well in her eyes. Hawkes looked at Lindsay with shock, because the entire time that he had known her he had never seen her with her emotions so open and obvious.

Within seconds Hawkes had pulled Lindsay into a hug, thankful that it was late at night and most of the lab was at home or elsewhere, just as Hawkes pulled her into him the tears began to fall down her face. They stood there for a short amount of time as Hawkes whispered comforting things into Lindsay's ear as she calmed herself down. Lindsay had sprung herself from Hawkes's arm when she heard voices coming through the quiet lab.

Lindsay turned and wiped the tears tracks from her face and quieted her breathing down as she was embarrassed about breaking down in front of Hawkes the way she did. Lindsay turned back to face Hawkes who was just watching her intently "Sorry" Lindsay said quietly as she saw the tear marks on his shirt.

Hawkes looked to where Lindsay was looking and saw the marks and shrugged "Don't worry about it" Hawkes then let out a deep breath as he looked Lindsay straight in the eye "You want to talk about it?"

Lindsay took in a deep breath and looked at Hawkes and knew that she had to talk to someone about her phone call and what was going on with her and she knew that Sheldon could be trusted and that he takes a person's privacy very seriously when it comes to his friends. Lindsay decided to take the plunge.

"I just got a call from the Bozeman DA's office"

Hawkes frowned at Lindsay wondering what it meant "An old case?" Hawkes said thinking that it was about an old case before she moved to New York

Lindsay nodded "Until recently it was cold"

"Cold? What happened?" Hawkes asked wondering what was going on, wondering how cold the case was and how it affected Lindsay and that it must have been bad with the way that she had been acting.

Lindsay took in a deep breath and slowly let it out, taking her bearings "A few months ago, during the Ice Queen vodka case" Lindsay paused to see if Hawkes remembered what she was talking about and Hawkes nodded in remembrance to the case "Anyway before I got the call for the case I got a call from the Bozeman PD to tell me that they had caught a man who had killed four people 12 years ago"

Sheldon nodded and wondered what it was about "12 years ago? You were what 15?"

Lindsay shook her head "No 14"

"So how does it involve you?" Hawkes asked wondering if she knew the man that had been arrested for the crime

Lindsay let out a shaky deep breath "Because I was the only survivor"

A look of shock came across Sheldon's face, never for one second did he think that Lindsay had seen anything like that at that age or let alone survived it or witnessed it and his question escaped his lips before he could stop it "What?"

Lindsay continued "The man killed my three best friends and the waitress at the diner that night"

"And you survived?"

Lindsay nodded "And the only person who was able to give a description of the guy and give a positive ID on him"

A look of sympathy came across Hawkes' face as he thought about what Lindsay had been through and realised that it was why that Lindsay was the way she was and very hard to get to know and secretive about her past, now it all made sense.

"Lindsay I'm so sorry" Hawkes said not too sure on what to say. As Hawkes looked at Lindsay it explained why she was in the job, so that no one would have to wait over a decade to get closure on the deaths of close and loved ones.

Lindsay took in a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair as she let out the breath "Anyway the trials coming up so I was talking to the DA about my testimony"

Hawkes nodded knowing that it was two different things, one testifying as a expert witness with science behind them backing up what they were saying, the second testifying as a witness to a crime and the only witness who was able to give a conviction on their statement. The fact that she was the only one who could put the man away from the stand, who had killed her friends definitely explained why she was distant to everyone as late. Hawkes looked at Lindsay and asked a question every CSI asks when I came's to a cold case.

"So how did they catch him?"

"Broken tail light and a DUI" Lindsay said before explaining how he was caught "A patrolman picked him up for a broken tail light and noticed that he was drinking and that he was over the limit. They took him back to the station to be processed and took his prints and put them through the system. When they did that the prints came back to the case, they took a DNA sample and it confirmed him to be the suspect" Lindsay said

"Print match?" Hawkes asked wondering what type of match they got

Lindsay nodded "They found a index finger print in some of the blood and prints with blood on it on the door knob. With the DNA they found some hair samples in some of the blood"

Hawkes nodded knowing that sometimes when it came to trail a good defence attorney could argue that the prints where there prior to the murder, but DNA was hard to argue. That with it also being a cold case Lindsay's testimony would be the main point in the DA's case.

Hawkes took in a deep breath "So when do you have to go back?" knowing by the look on Lindsay's face that she was holding that off as long as she could.

Lindsay let out a sigh "Soon" Lindsay said, herself not really knowing when she had to fly back but knew that, that day was coming closer and closer.

Hawkes nodded and then frowned at Lindsay "So who knows about this?" Hawkes said, but judging by the way that she was acting that it wasn't common knowledge, but the moment that Lindsay left that it would probably be the talk of the lab.

"At the lab?" Lindsay asked

Lindsay let out a breath "Mac knows, cause it's in my file. And Stella, that's all"

Hawkes nodded knowing that Mac knows everything and that it would be a big part of her file and it also explained why Mac didn't want Lindsay involved in the processing of the Henry Daruess case awhile back.

"So why didn't you tell any of us?" Sheldon asked

Lindsay let out another shaky breath "Because since the night that it happened, everyone in Bozeman knew about it, knew who I was and what happened, and everyone looked at me and whispered about me all wondering when I was going to break. But when I came to work here, it was great, I was a CSI who knew how to do her job not the CSI who survived and witnessed her best friends being murdered when she was a teenager.

Hawkes nodded in agreement understanding that it was a moment in her life that had over shadowed her life in Bozeman and that it was a great relief for her to work here in New York where no one knew. A place where she could start over.

"Does Mac know that the trials coming up?"

Lindsay shook her head "No not yet"

Hawkes frowned "You have to tell him"

Lindsay nodded "I know"

Lindsay and Hawkes both sat in silence, a sense of relief filled the air and it was comfortable and Lindsay looked at bit lighter and less stressed about the whole thing. Hawkes looked at Lindsay "You ok now?'

Lindsay gave Hawkes a smile "Yeah I am" Lindsay said surprised on how lighter she felt now that she had told someone what was going on.

"Good" Hawkes said returning the smile and then frowned a little "You should tell Danny. He's worried about you"

Lindsay closed her eyes and let out a deep breath knowing how much truth there was behind Sheldon's words. "I know"

Hawkes looked at Lindsay and knew not to push the subject of her and Danny because everyone knew that something was going on between the two it was just a matter of when with those two. As a matter of fact there seemed to be several pools going on around the lab with the techs and the detectives that they work with on the two of them.

"Well I'm off for the night" Hawkes said standing up

Lindsay nodded "I've got some more paper work to do"

Hawkes nodded thinking that Lindsay was more up to date with her paper work than anyone else in the lab but knew that it was her way of getting herself back together.

Hawkes made his way to the door just as he was about to step through it was stopped by Lindsay's voice

"Sheldon" Lindsay said

Hawkes also stopped because it was a rare event where Lindsay would call him by his first name, Hawkes turned to face him "Yeah?"

"Thank you" Lindsay said truly meaning it, thankful for Hawkes for being there for her and not judging her

Hawkes gave Lindsay a smile and a small one shoulder shrug "No problem, that's what friends are for"

Lindsay gave Hawkes a smile and a nod, thankful for his friendship.

As Hawkes walked away he got more into the insight that was Lindsay Monroe. He know understood why Lindsay had been acting the way she had been lately but knew that once the trail was over that it wouldn't be long before Lindsay would be back to the way she was before, happy and carefree and making jokes. But Hawkes also knew that if Lindsay needed to talk to someone with what was going on with her that she could easily come to him and talk to him as now knew what was going on.

Lindsay let out a deep breath as she watched Hawkes walk down the hall to the lockers to get his things to go home for the night. Lindsay thought back to one of the things that Hawkes said before he left, that she needed to tell Danny what was going on with her. Something that she knew to be true, she just didn't know how she was going to tell him or how he would react to keeping something that was a big part of her from him considering she knew his secret from his past that he didn't want known. Lindsay let out a breath as she sat down, thankful for her friendship in one Sheldon Hawkes and that she would probably talk to him again before she flew out.

3


End file.
